Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Feeling better.

And just like that, my anger is gone. In fact, I felt a surge of affection towards David when he told us it was his birthday. Note to self - before acting out on rage and resentment - check your calendar!
Anyway, practice is still strong. Naked+Anutra+Green vibrance+MSM for breakfast turned out to be a golden combination for me. David grunted approvingly while hlelping me in supta kurmasana, which made me happy (we are so not spoiled by praise!), and spent some time in helping me to hold a "high and proud" kukkutasana. It seems that what I needed at the moment the most - just a sign that I am not forgotten, and I am back to a contented self.
In other news - Rayna is back! She was so radiant and beautiful with Hawaiian flowers in her hair. Aliya will be back in shala by Sunday, too. Things are getting back to normal. Even better than normal, because we have Tova here, too. So wonderful!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Emotional pit.

Was incredibly tempted today to stay home and have an extra hour of sleep. Went anyway. Was just as angry as yesterday. What is funny, though, I am having the best practices of my life during all this turmoil. It feels like anger fuels the practice, makes me more determined and less prone to slacking off. So much for the tranquility of the mind and the cessation of the fluctuations and so on. This energy does not last long though. I collapsed yesterday at 8:30 and barely made it to the pillow.

It is sad that we do not have much choices in DC in terms of Ashtanga. The only other studio does not have a very early Mysore, so it would not work for me. Sigh. I am being silly, of course. I love David and Keith, and me being mad just reflects more my own shortcomings, and less theirs. Sigh again. OK, I think I am done with the tantrum. Sorry, everyone!

Monday, August 25, 2008

This is that special time when I am very, very bitchy

Yesterday we had our new "traditional" Q and A session at the shala. David talked about cleaning up the vinyasas, instituting moon days, about all the buzz news coming from Mysore. In particular that they were going to "tighten" up the speed of moving people into the intermediate (in a sense they will not move people as fast as they used to. Huh?!). My heart sunk. A month ago David asked me how long I was pain-free, and explained to me that the ONLY reason they did not give me pasasana was their rule of having a pain-free months after an injury. So a month passed, nearly the second is over, and still, not even a hint. OK, so I asked after the Q n' A, what exactly was holding me and what should I work on. Let's see, says David, can you jump through? Yes. Can you lift up from Supta Kurmasana into Tittibasana? Yes. OK, he says, I will look closely and I will tell you what to work on. Hello! What happened to the "only" reason?I know I was just irking David further, because it is not a "good" manner to ask for a pose. Just could not stop myself. So today I was a mess. I managed to completely convince myself that I will never get moved to the second. I will be doing the primary forever. What is the point of coming to shala then if they were not going to teach me anything new? Wouldn't I be better off doing it all at home? Should I spend money just to get a couple of the same adjustments daily? All these thoughts were racing through my mind, enraging me more and more. By shoulderstand I even cried a little. Thank God nobody noticed. I left the shala, and while walking towards my car, a thought occurred " what is wrong with you?". I even stopped for a moment. And then realized - I am having a PMS moment! I did not feel any physical symptoms, but this rage was totally uncharacteristic for me. I am generally a very happy person. Well, uncharacteristic in 99% of the time. During our 23 years of marriage, my husband and I fought exactly four times. Every single time it was my PMS period. Apparently my bitchiness raises to unbelievable levels, so that even my husband's angelic patience couldn't take it.
Having realized that, I decided not to make any drastic decisions and ask any more damaging questions. Let things be, my life outlook might be back to normal by the next week. Let me tell you, though, PMS sucks!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Who is more flexible than a yogi?

A rhythmic gymnast, as it seems. This such an amazing sport, though not very popular in America. It seems there was only one woman from North America, who qualified for Beijing. But what an amazing sport it is! So much beauty, grace, flexibility and precision. And the bodies of rhythmic gymnasts look so much better than the bodies of the "regular" gymnasts.

And here some highlights from Beijing:

Friday, August 22, 2008

Happy Friday.

Again, two days in a row of very strong practices. I do not remember having a week like that before. It seems that combination of MSM + Naked Machine works wonders for my stamina. Even after working hard on all my jump-throughs, I had more than enough energy for UD stand-ups.
Me happy. :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Back on the vagon.

Strong practice yesterday and today. Bought MSM at last, and what a difference! No nagging aching feeling all day long, the the practice is back to being actually enjoyable. One of the things I noticed lately is that I tend to hold my breath in some transitions (jumping back to chaturanga, updog to downdog, and some others). I tried to control it today, and the breathing was much smoother. In terms of energy it is all good, too. For breakfast I mix half a bottle of Naked green or blue machine with either Anutra or some other fiber-containing mix, and the carbs in Naked carry me through the practice with no problem. I get hungry only an hour or two after the practice, when the adrenaline wears off.
I got back on my CRON vagon. Following Arturo's advice, I prepare the food for breakfast and lunch an evening before, weigh everything and enter the data into Cron-o-meter. In the evening, I look for whatever component is missing from my diet, and make a dinner accordingly. Lacking the necessary ingredients, I take supplements. So far, this week's diet was stellar (a little high on carbs, but within the calorie limit). Can't wait till Sunday to see what the scale tells me. Not that it ever tells me anything good.
Too much work at work for some reason. I was hoping for a slow season after the summer insanity, but no such luck. When is that Labor day?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Never give up.

I just liked this picture. A friend of mine posted it in her diary, on a Russian site. The translation is: Never give up!

Feeling immature.

There is something wrong with me. So yesterday, I was such a good girl - prepared food, clothes and everything for Monday and by 8:30 was in bed with my laptop. Since there was a half hour of free time before bed, I decided to check out the chess program on my Mac. Lost. To a computer! It did not agree with me at all, so I played another game. Lost again. One more, and another one. I won at last, but it was nearly eleven. How stupid is that? Of course, I could not wake up on time, slept an extra hour, missed shala, did not practice. And since there was an extra half hour in the morning, I played chess again. Can you guess what happened? Right, I am late for work! For a forty-something year-old woman I behave unbelievably immature. Ugh. At least I managed to buy MSM yesterday, so hopefully tomorrow I will be ready for a good practice. Meanwhile I need to go an knock my head against the wall a little.
Happy Monday! :)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sunday practice

Not a very good practice today. First of all, it felt like Saturday was not enough for rest - all my muscles were achy and miserable. Second, I think I developed hypoglycemia by the end of the practice - felt so noxious during the backbends, I had to abandon them all together. Barely made it through the finishing. It seems that the new protein shake Glucerna that I bought to have for breakfast before practice, is not working. Too low on carbs. I will need to supplement it with something. And get my MSM at last!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Tova's hands and MSM addiction.

Yesterday practiced at home. Lots of crim - pinca, eka pada, dwi pada, yoga nidrasana, pasasana (which I can no longer bind on the left side). Brief flurry of work, then doctor's appointment (check-up, all good), and Tova's massage! She has magical hands, let me tell you. Aaah! Granted, I could do nothing anymore after that, but a lazy evening was more than welcomed.
Today's practice was usual Thursday sucky self, no surprise here. No energy left be the end of practice, could barely stand up from UD, handstand was shaky from pure exhaustion. Since I know now that this is a normal situation for Thursday, I am not even upset. It is also possible that my 103 Cal breakfast is just not sufficient, need to up it a little. Oh, and there is no MSM in the house! I can feel its absence in my muscles very clearly. MSM dependency.
OK, time to work. Happy Thursday! I hope your weather is as amazing as it is here, in DC.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Boring diaries and Alzheirmer's

In the ongoing Nun Study, the investigators studied the diaries of those nuns who kept them from the childhood. The interesting finding was that the nuns that were "destined" to get Alzheimer's later in life had the least number of ideas per unit of writing. In other words, their diaries were boring. I looked at my writing and got really scared. Need to look up all those things that ward off Alzheimer's. Vitamin E was it?

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Ready for the new week!

My baby is gone to NY, I miss him already.
This was one of the laziest Sundays I had in a long time. I did make it to Mysore, and the practice was good. I also taught my vinyasa class (tortured them with ab work). Otherwise, we spent the rest of the day literally in bed, watching the Olympics and eating, eating, eating. No guilt, though, just pure hedonistic pleasure. We need those days once in a while.
Oops, the American gymnastic team is not doing so well in qualifying. I need to concentrate on cheering. Good night, everyone!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Saturday - the best day of the week.

Oh, well, this week is over, thank God. My baby is here, came on a Chinese bus this morning. I have forgotten how tall my son is. He is nearly one head taller than me, and I am relatively tall myself. Things got more or less done. I started the paper on my major project, it is coming along nicely now. Summer students are gone, the poster session was a success. Paperwork is finished, hopefully I will start getting paid now. The apartment is in a pretty good shape; it is not immaculate, but no longer a dump. I missed three shala practices, but did some yoga at home, which made my shoulder feel really good. My eating was less than stellar this week, but I am OK with it. Tonight we will eat out for Victor's birthday, and tomorrow I will re-start my CRON.
So I am back in the game! Looking forward to practicing full primary tomorrow at the shala.
How beautiful the opening ceremony in Beijin was! I was never a sports fan, but there is something about the Olympics that makes watching sports interesting. Things changed so much since we watched the Games last time. Women lifting weigths! Not even women, but tiny girls lifting 114 kg. Amazing!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A little overscheduled.

Not much happening in terms of practice. I had to confess today to David about the uncertain feeling in my shoulder (the leftover injury) when he tried to make me put more effort into jump-back-jump-through action. I guess this means no new poses for another year or so. I am so tired though, that I do not care anymore.
I just need to survive this week, and all will be well. This is the last week for out summer students. I will need to sub a class on Thursday, and teach my regular classes on Friday and Sunday. Also, it is my husband's birthday this Saturday, so something needs to be done there. My son will come from NYC for that weekend to celebrate with us. Need to plan meals. Clean the apartment. Write a paper. Finish the paperwork at work (which would allowed me to get paid and get health insurance). Several other things needed to be done, but I do not remember which ones, only remember they were important. OK, I am hyperventilating now. Taking a deep breath ....

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Lazy Sunday

Very good Sunday so far. I went to practice today because Rayna was in town, even though it was ladies holiday. The practice was OK overall, I felt a little weak and voluminous. But there is always one moment that can make or break a feel of the practice, isn't there? Today it was assisted dropbacks, where David helped me so that I touched my heels. Yay! It felt great, and absolutely unexpected. I had no idea my hands were even in the neighborhood!
Tova practiced in the shala, too. Her dropbacks are stunning, just stunning. After the practice, Tova and I went to Whole Foods for breakfast and had a lovely chat with Rayna, Matt, David and two people I haven't met before - Leo and Mike. Leo turned out to be a Russian from St.Petersburg.
I came home afterwards and had a long nice nap. Aaah! If not for a class I need to teach tonight, I would say the life is perfect. After a frenzy of the previous week rest felt precious.


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