Still alive.

Recovering from a flu or a bad cold over this weekend. It felt like dying. Slept 18 hours a day in a dayquil-induced coma. OK now, only very annoying loud cough left.

Went back to shala first time in over two weeks - it is like returning home, such a nice feeling. Expected struggle, but surprisingly my body was happy and limber, and was going strong through the practice. I still did only primary, just to be on a safe side, but was very pleasantly surprised. Will probably do full practice tomorrow.

Re-introduced fat-free organinc milk into diet - and some of the "flightiness" is gone. It makes me wonder...

Oh, and I received Kino's intermediate DVD - can't wait to get home and start watching it!

Keep warm, everyone (it was freezing this morning in DC)!

Happy Friday!

That was such a great week of Mysore practice with David Keil. I love my shala, but boy it is so nice to have all this attention in a room with 10 people in it. All the adjustments made full sense to me and I know what to work on now. I feel more confident in Kapotasana (though far from actually understanding it fully). Moreover, I had a "preview" of supta vajrasana - seems like a doable pose. I am still sore all over my body, though in a nice way, and feel like a massage would be a good treat for me.

On a completely different note. The last couple of weeks I noticed that I have a tremendous difficulty of concentrating. Always suspected that I might have a subclinical level of ADD, but this time it became so pronounced, I actually started considering seeing a doctor and beggging for meds. When I mentioned this to my boss after a day of futile struggle, she remembered reading a book, called "The edge effect", which was talking about tyrosine, serotonine and other neurotransmitters and how they affect the personality. I did not read this book, but there was a light bulb lighting up in my head. I remembered that in one of his lectures, our ayurveda teacher Brendan Freely said that he abandoned raw vegeterian eating because it made him "too flighty" and attributed this to increase in vata imbalance. I have not been eating any dairy the whole last month, so there was no uptake of any kind of animal protein in my diet at all. So probably I am low on tyrosine, and, as a result - low on dopamine and catecholamines. Which is reflected in difficulty to concentrate practically on anything (including writing this blog). I should know these things, being a neuroscientist and all. Anyway, this is a theory, which need proving. So for now, I will take some tyrosine supplements and see if my ability to work using my head improves at all, and meanwhile research raw foods rich in tyrosine and phenylalanine. Let me tell you, this raw vegan diet, with all its healthful benefits, is a lot of work. But I still like it. :)

Whatever does not kill us makes us stronger, right? Right?

Second day of David Keil's mysore, and I am so sore, no words to express it. It is my own fault - haven't done yoga for a whole week. First, in Chicago, there was no room to do it, and I swam instead. Then I came home and skipped shala due to the ladies holiday. And now I am paying for it big time. It even hurts to breathe - all those tiny muscles between the ribs are not happy at the moment.

Good thing I did not complain, though. David asked a lady on the mat next to mine if she was tired. Sounded very compassionate, too. She sighed exhaustedly - yes. So what does he do? He makes her take full vinyasas for the rest of her practice! You know - those, when you come to samastihi every time. Whew.

On a positive note, it seems that my kapotasana is less sucky now. I was holding my heels both days, and it felt less terryfying than before. In kapotasana B, David somehow elongated my lower back, so it was quite bearable as well. My back was still in shock afterwards, and UD's were close to impossible, but I can feel baby-step progress. Got assistance with the dropbacks and a great squish after.

Tomorrow's practice is going to be interesting, though. The bookshelfs that I ordered from Office Depot arrived yesterday, which is good news. Bad news is that they are "extra tall", which means - do not fit in the elevator. I will have to unpack them downstairs and carry all extra-long pieces to the 4th floor myself, using the stairs. Two double cases - 8 trips at least. My husband is overseas, I do not know anybody in the building, and the super in the building is kind of old. So it is just me, it seems. As I said, mysore morning after will be intriguing.

Do you go for a smoke before your backbends?

– David asked me yesterday. Yes. Well, not exactly smoke, but I do take a bathroom break before the dropbacks. It is just the right amount of time – to walk there and back, breathing slowly; it helps to restore some of my energy. As a result, the dropbacks became practically effortless.
Not today, though. In spite of my pitiful record of attendance, I got the dreaded pose – kapotasana. My fear was well grounded - what a shock for the system! I did reach for the feet, but my back was not grateful. The bathroom break restored some of the feeling of well-being, but not enough even to contemplate the drop-backs. Oh, well.

Other news – we moved this weekend. I love my new apartment. Everything is still in boxes, my furniture looks pitiful (all of it is not just second, but third or fourth hand), but it feels right. The tree in front of all our windows is beautiful, the neighbors are friendly, and we already have internet, phone and cable installed. Hopefully I will settle into the routine after a month of madness.

Great day to you all!

Final stretch

We are closing the mortgage and moving to a new place this week. I have too many earthly possessions. Hurt my upper back hauling the boxes with books, so there was no yoga yesterday and today. Hopefully will be able to practice tomorrow, need it badly.
I will be back in the blogosphere after we get the internet installed in a new place (sometime next week).

Miss you all!
Alfia

Monday woes.

Oi, another week passed. This way the life itself will be gone in a blink of an eye, and I will not even notice it. Time to slow down.
Nothing much to report, except for the fact that we are poor now. Very much so. Coming up with down payment for the apartment was difficult, but then there turned out to be closing costs, quarterly taxes, and a gazillion of 0ther expenses to be payed right now, and not a minute later! So yeah, poor.
Practice-wise, not much to report. Laghu comes and goes; it is gone for now. I do not worry too much, it will come. Not a lot of energy to practice; being anxious about getting a loan sucks up all my energy at the moment. Yesterday I decided to add half an hour to my sleep in order to be in top shape for the morning practice; but not only I was not able to fall asleep early, I tossed and turned well into the night. As a result, the practice was quite pitiful today.
Plan for this week - meditate not only every day, but several times a day, every time I feel that my heart is racing and palm are sweaty.
Have a great week, everyone!

Still playing games, owning Laghu Vajrasana and no longer drinking alcohol

Nearly two weeks off the blog. Facebook games madness continues, but the eagerness to play faded a little; so there is hope on the horizon. Several things happened while I was away:
1) I need to kill my inner alcoholic permanently, because I have a life-threatening sensitivity to sulfites. Had a major asthma attack after celebrating my husband's CFA exam with Russian champagne. It is not like I love drinking wine, but still this makes me a little sad. Oh well, I am forced to live a healthier lifestyle, shouldn't complain.
2) We are thinking about buying a condo. With 2 bedrooms, which means we'll be able to accomodate guests. Wink-wink.
3) I can do Laghu Vajrasana now. Like so many yoga poses, this one turned out to be not about superhuman strength. It is all about spatial geometry, knowing where to press, which muscles to contract, which parts to release. Aliya hepled me a lot with this pose. I do not know what I am going to do when he, Rayna and Ananda are gone to Paradise (here, on Earth!). Sigh.

Dangers of facebook and kitty update.

Lately I had a hard time keeping things together - I would concentrate on one thing, and ten others would fall apart immediately. And I added an additional challenge to it (like I needed one, honestly!). On a Facebook, I got sucked in into the Robin Hood game, hopelessly. The intention was to keep up with friends who stopped blogging, but update the facebook regularly, and here we go, the trap has sprang. The only saving grace for me is that facebook is banned at work, otherwise I might have gotten fired.

Kitty seems to be doing OK, though she did not greet me in the morning again, completely ignoring our morning treat-giving ritual. What is up with her? Aren't cats the creatures of habits and rituals? Weird.

Laghu Vajrasana still eludes me. My thighs are fried daily now. David said yesterday that as soon as I learn to do it, we'll be moving forward. Which kind of gave me a mixed feeling - I am not all that sure I want Kapotasana any time soon. On the other hand - I want it! Need to sit and sort myself out.

Some good, some bad.

Last week was the week of our summer students poster presentations, so the time went in a blur of hurried preparations and the poster session itself. Then the weekend came, and it was my husband's birthday, for which my baby came to visit. It was so nice to have the family all together again. We went to see a Harry Potter movie (we used to do it all together when Ilya was still small), bought a graduation present (a Movado watch) and celebrated Victor's birthday in a seafood restaurant at the Washington Marina. We also spent considerable time just lounging around, eating and watching tivoed "Boston Legal". I felt very rejuvenated after hectic two weeks.

Missed Mysore again - the third time this month. My older cat was not feeling good for a couple of days, and today she did not come out to greet me and to ask for a treat. Might not sound like much, but believe me, this is a big deal. Every time she lost her appetite, it ended up with extremely expensive surgery and her being on a brink of death. So I decided to take matters seriously, did not go to practice and instead dug her out from the depths of my closet, fed her hairball gel, checked her signs and watched her for some time, making sure she is OK. Well, she was not quite OK, but better than I feared. I will have to keep my fingers crossed at work today.

Back from Minnesota

Good intentions of practicing yoga on my own resulted in one day of intermediate (up to lagu vajrasana) and four days of half-ass yin practices in my hotel room. I do not have discipline, as it seems. With some trepidation I stepped in to the shala today, and ended up having an amazing practice. I always knew that breaks were good for me, but a week-long break? Interesting.

Assisted backbends were not quite good, though. I was dropping back heavily, and it took a lot of effort for David to lift me up. He got sick of it pretty fast and made me hang back with my legs straight. Turns out I am terrified of this pose! In my dropbacks I always support my back with hands on the hips or thighs until the very last moment of bringing the hands down to the floor. I did not realise that I cound not do it otherwise. Today, there was a moment of pure panic rising, and I lifted up so fast, nearly knocked David's head with my own. Well, something new to work on. Love challenges!