Sunday, February 22, 2009

Stepping back.

Thinking yesterday about my back problem made me realize that this is the right time to face the truth. I should completely stop standing up from UD on my own. Until I am fully pain-free that is. Otherwise it is a vicious circle - my back heals a little, I start standing up, hurt it again and everything repeats over and over. There are two major problems here - I do not want to admit to myself that I can't do it correctly, and I do not want to admit to David that I am in pain, because it will delay my progress for a decade or two. My poor Mysore attendance lately was in part because of my psychological fear of the backbending end of the practice. So here, I am going to ask David to allow me to revert to the assited dropbacks- stand ups, and if he takes away my intermediate poses, so be it. Just writing it down makes me unclench teeth and relax shoulders. Why have I allowed my yoga practice to stress me out so badly?

12 comments:

Ursula said...

Sometimes teachers are more ambitious than the yoga students. :)

alfia said...

Hi, Ursula!

In our case David is not very ambitious for his students (not for all, at least). He gives the poses at a rate of tectonic plate movement and sometimes takes poses away!

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I totally feel you! I've got something going on with my sacrum and my whole thing is about thinking how back bending is coming at the end of practice and being maybe afraid to say no or something. Not sure what that is yet...

alfia said...

Morning, Elise:

Exactly! Doesn't this fear kind of poison the rest of the practice? Not good.

Anonymous said...

The letting go is tremendous.


Hope that you feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

Hey there Alfia! Yes, I know, I never comment here, time to break that habit!

In general, yes, obey what hurts. I recently found, in one of those wonderful asana paradoxes, that taking a 'hey, maybe i'll only do through seated in Primary today' attitude has helped me do my "full" practice.

Also, the honesty you show here is powerful stuff. Two thumbs up!

Anonymous said...

Alfia I think you are doing the right thing for your back. My knee is the same, as soon as it improves I start trying to do Marichyasana again, then it hurts again, a vicious circle. Practice is not worth less just because you have to modify a pose for your body's well being.

Ursula said...

That's good.So, I perhaps misunderstood it.
Of course I wish you to recover soon.

All the best.
U

alfia said...

Hi, Anna! Miss you.

Hello, Patrick. Thank you for your comment, you made me feel better! :)

Kevin, I agree with you. It just takes some time to realise things. Most of us are type A personalities, and letting go is always a struggle. I think I crossed the line between "being stubborn" and "being stupid" into the stupid category. Time to re-assess.

Thank you, Ursula!

Anonymous said...

Its partly down to competing with yourself and also frustration with your body at not being able to do something you have previously been able to do.

alfia said...

So true, Kevin.

Arturo said...

hi Alfia
sending you a cyberhug and much hope for comfy backbendings.
i need to find a Chinese born plushie doll to represent you in my cybershalamate collection.
cheers,
Arturo

 

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