Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Cancer prevention week.

Yesterday I had two appointments - a mammogram and with a dermatologist. I am not sure if this how it works for everyone, but the stupid mammogram hurts! I have regular size breasts, but it is sill hard to imagine they can be reduced to the thickness of pancakes by squeezing between the two plates. I could feel a substantial tug on the back of my head. Which reminds me this old joke about a woman who was so addicted to the face lifts that even her plastic surgeon got tired of her. He made a knob on the top of her head and suggested that every time she felt a need for a lift, she tighten the knob a little. After a while she came for an appointment and he asked how the contraption was working for her. She said she loved it very much, but there was a problem - she had persistent bags under her eyes, which would not go away, no matter how hard she tightened the knob. The surgeon looked carefully and exclaimed "But madam, those are not the bags, those are your breasts!"
Anyway, the next was a visit to a dermatologist. She removed three suspicious moles and then she started burning skin tags on my neck. Apparently, I have a high pain threshold, so she got all excited and burned every single imperfection she could see, including broken vessels and whatnot. As a result, I looked like a leper yesterday, and today I look like a leopard. I had no idea there were so many imperfections! These burns do not bother me too much, but one of the removed moles hurt all night long, and I did not get enough sleep. Skipped shala today, had a slow yin home practice. But my yearly program of cancer prevention is practically fullfilled, only left a gynecologist visit for a pap smear, and I am done!

Time to go to work and scare the anesthesia patients with my spotted neck. Happy Wednesday, everyone!

10 comments:

LI Ashtangini said...

Oooooh, I went to the gyn yesterday and she is sending me for my first mammogram since I'm 'over 35'. Poo! My response: 'I didn't feel old til I walked in here!'. Does it hurt more for big boobs or little ones?

alfia said...

Hi, Sonya:

I am not sure. A colleague of mine, who has very substantial boobs, says the mammogram does not bother her at all. So it is not bad for everyone. I hated every minute of it, though.
Sorry...

crankyhausfrau said...

neccessary evil? i have heard it really matters who does the mammogram.
i missed you this morning, Alfia!

alfia said...

Hi, Tova:

I had a full intention of coming, but just could not wake up on time. It felt like I just fallen asleep and it was time to get up. I am not a shtrong as I claim to be... Are you coming tomorrow?

Boodiba said...

Yikes. I haven't had a gyn appt in about 4 years. I'll try to find some place to go in India.

Mammos don't really work well on me. Tiny breasts. Hard to get 'em in there...

rayna said...

Oh, Alfia! I hope you feel better. We missed your in practice today...

Anonymous said...

Hi Alfia! I'm 35, guess that means I need one too? Going to the gyn in a few weeks and will ask. But, glad you got all that testing done even if you look like a leopard!

BTW Katie and I are like leopards sometimes, we are sleek and stealthy and we roar like the big cats we are, is fun to be a leopard. Be proud! Leopards are strong enough to drag things up trees and eat them. : )

alfia said...

Hi, Anna:
I like the way you think! I am a leopard, and if somebody does not like it - it is their problem, right?

Anonymous said...

Oh, my, I hate doing mammograms, exactly for the reason they are so painful... I'm now 37, so I have only done it twice (actually, it should have been once, but the reading did not come up clearly, and needed to re do it...). It was painful both times, but the same person did it. I do hope Tova is right and I can find someone nicer next time...

Arturo said...

Hi Alfia
That's funny - flat as pancakes, but it must hurt. I haven't had dermatologists burn stuff from my face since I moved here from Florida. In Florida dermatologists greeted you with the burning device in hand. I guess they expect people get too much sun there.

hugs
Arturo

 

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