I just do not get it. I am flexible. I am relatively strong. I am quite fearless. I am stubborn as a mule. Why can't I get this standing-from-UD thing? Honestly! I do not see anybody around having as much trouble as I am. Keith said today that he actually talked to David about giving me Pasasana, but David said no, mostly in light of my recent injury. He wants me to do the drop-back-stand-up consistently before moving further. I have a sinking feeling that I am stuck here forever. No matter that I can bind in pasasana with the heels down. I am stuck.
Speaking of the injury, my pain in the shoulder blade which I think is the remnant of the rib injury I had recenlty, flared up in the last couple of days, particularly after kurmasana and suptakurmasana. I did not even mention it to Keith, he must be tired of me whining about my pains and aches. I will just slack off these two poses in the coming week and use a muscle rub at night. Oh, and Epsom salt bath. Not to forget Epsom salt bath...
My friend, who is getting a divorce, is having a biopsy of a lump in her breast. I do not even know how she is holding up there. Too much crap clamped together. It gives me a perspective, though. I bet she would trade her troubles for my UD any day! I am done whining about UD from now on. I promise!:)
25 comments:
Alfia, I know how you feel because I was there. It took me a year and a half to stand up from UD - nevermind that I could bind with heels down in pasasana, nevermind that people at other shalas had gotten past kapotasana while still being assisted in dropbacks. It's frustrating.
The best advice I can give you as a practical matter is put all the weight in your feet, walk your hands in as far as you can, and come up on a inhale USING YOUR LEGS. If you ever watch someone who does it well - like Tova, for instance, you'll notice how much work the legs are doing. It's a slight forward and up motion (not throwing yourself forward like some people do - slow, controlled).
Otherwise - it sucks. And it's frustrating. But you WILL get it, you will. If I did, you can.
xx
I think we ALL experience moments of being held back from things that we can do, while forced to deal with things that we can't do quite as well.
Good advice from Anna though.
I'll just add my bit. Sometimes when I'm working on things that frustrate and/or scare me, I'll work on them at home in a self practice. That way I can try over & over & over again if I want and no one sees it but me. I can give myself more permission to fail, if necessary, before I succeed.
I am FABULOUS at giving myself permission to fail.
The letting go is tremendous!
Dear Alfia,
Be gentle on yourself. Just be "in the pratice".
Best wishes,
Anon
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I hate whining, but here it pays off. Not only by amazing support I receive, but also by fabulous advice. I love you all!
Hi, Anon! Thank you for stopping by!
:)
i had this feeling of desperation with supta kurmasana. it was a looooong process and the only pose that has ever brought me to tears of frustration.
i promise you, you will able to do this! you have not been working on it for so long that you need to feel like it is beyond reach! when i get down to DC i will help you. be kind and patient with yourself!
xoxo
I've had tears over Kapotasana. And once I really thought I was going to pass out during too. Next pose I thought I might vomit.
Ahhh... memories!
Hi Tova!
Thank you, Tova! I just can't wait until you come. Is it true you'll be here in less than two weeks? Feels like eternity...
Linda, you are joking, right? :O
I have never felt truly bad in the pose. I guess I have a fun road ahead of me!
Nope not joking. This was back when I was getting assisted into hands on heels & it was new. There was just one day my energy was up high & it was hot & everything went black for a moment while I was in there. Greg couldn't tell from the position he was in, assisting. Then I came out & had a sort of intense nausea.
Woo hoo? :)
Wow, scary! Did you stop your practice then? Oh, silly me, of course you didn't! Right?
Nope. Once I was sure I wasn't going to hurl I carried on.
I sprained my toe at the beginning of practice once & finished. Was very careful to only land on the left foot the rest of the way through. I was just doing primary.
Did I tell you lately you were my hero, Linda?
Oh that's not ME, that's Karen :)
But thank you!! I need all the pazzles of approval I can get.
I cannot do it either, perhaps this consoles you a bit. :)
We will get there - the question is only when.
Best wishes and have fun.
Ursula
Hi, Ursula:
I am sure your practice will get to a whole new level in India! UD will be very easy for you. Let's work on it together!
Awww Alfia...I sure do hear ya! I had a great practice today yet I realized just a few minutes into it that I may never get another new pose for the rest of my yoga life! I can't bind every day in some, I can't do suptakurmasana and while I get up in UD most of the time, I can stand and do dropbacks only with assist and only on certain days! What keeps me going with this particular practice is that I know on my own, I can do most of the 2nd series poses already so who cares if I never get to do them at the Shala. I will be at my beloved ashram in a couple of weeks for 10 days and I will be doing them there! Don't despair...we yogis are never alone.
Love,
ABY ;)
Ouh. I am an extremely messy, feet-splayed, flying-forward stand-upper. I don't know why I'm getting postures at the rate I am, Alfia, and I don't know what it would be like to be held back from something you know you can do, and that you want to do. My pasasana is not good, honestly. He could have stopped me there, but he didn't. Why should everything hang on standing up from backbend, I wonder? Does it always? Is that the rule?
BTW, I experience dizzyness, nausea, and black spots in kapotasana all the time. Conditions have to be just right or I panic. I'm sure a backbender like you will have a better time in second series than I'm having right now.
Can you have a standing-up lesson maybe? Just work on that for an hour or something?
I just recently got to the point where I could stand up w/out looking as if I'd just consumed a fifth of vodka straight in 20 minutes.
PS, sending out good wishes for your friend. xoxoxo
Hi, Aby! You are going to ashram! That is wonderful. I hope you will get some distraction from your problems. It is nice to despair about dropbacks and stand-ups, and not about something more serious. :)
Linda, I want to see you after a fifth of vodka in 20 minutes! :D
Oh that is beyond me! But I used to be comical. Once standing up at Sheshadri's, I did this one-legged lurch forward, arms out. My roommate saw me & smiled so I said, "Ta da!" and everyone laughed. Then Sheshadri came running in from the other room to see who was pleasing the crowd, since he liked doing that himself.
Was not drunk.
DID show up there high more than once though.
Hi, Joy! I want to be a messy stander-upper! It truly beats a no-stander like me any day! Oh, shall we call an erectile dysfunction, too? :D
Dear Alfia,
You know well that I have no sufficient knowledge of the challenges you are facing with the UD, being so new to this and all. But what I can tell you is --please, don't despair! You seem to be such a disciplined and courageous woman, and just by reading you this past couple of weeks I've really come to admire your will power and love for this thing (you are my hero, too :)).
N
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